Death in the Air

Do you know what it is to feel death in the air? It isn’t always physical death. It could be the death of a moment, of an era, or a relationship, of a hope, of a dream, of a project. It all came down at once. We lost a baby this morning, a baby who hung on so hard to life, long enough for a father to come for him. Eric never got to take his son home, but he did hold the child. Destroyed by HIV/AIDS and consequential side effects, the baby’s visage and frame was that of a wrinkled and scrunched old man: thin-faced, frail, pinched, ebbing from life.

That same day a sparkling little girl that I recalled from last year left us, but not for a new family. Fortunately she was restored to her biological family, but not without deep disappointment at the realization that she would never be adopted to the United States - where all her friends are going. If nothing else, she will no longer be with us at the compound amongst her “brothers,” “sisters,” and Mother Ivy. Layla has been her home for well over a year now and now. This intelligent know-it-all student might never see a Uni classroom. She has so much potential, but how much future does she have? And what constitutes future? I see her doing very well at Mount Holyoke in another ten years. I hope I can find her then. I hope she is still well and whole and happy then. Leadership – it’s a characteristic evident even from a very young age. This one could be very influential in her country.
Blast! Why can’t we get her a decent education and some respect for her gender!

Then there was the news of a transfer. Laws are changing, regulations are changing, and now all Layla children must be paper-ready. We have nearly two handfuls that are not and so therefore must return to orphanages until their papers are complete.

Layla is not an actually an orphanage it. It’s a transition home. All children are paper-ready and often find families quickly. But there are those who have waited for years – some for 2, some for 3, some even more. Layla exposes its children to American culture, expectations, and standards as much as possible in order to minimize culture shock and ensure as smooth transition as possible. The smoother the transition, the better the bonding between the family and the child. Smooth transitions affirm the idea of adoption as both feasible and desirable. What are we supposed to do with six million parentless children?

Yes, death lingers in the air today and everyone can feel it. It’s heavier on the inside than on the outside. All of it is out of our hands. This is what helpless feels like. Watch, wait, pray – because only God truly knows.